One of my favorite blogs, Women Living Well, is having a Marriage Challenge to get ready for Valentine's Day. I thought this would be the perfect motivation to get back to my blog again; and I get to bless my Hubby while I do so.
Here goes nothing...
Courtney's Week 1 Challenge:
Take the Initiative! Look for ways to praise your husband verbally.
Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on facebook, tweet it – get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done – in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine’s Day arrives!
This week I have been looking for the good little things about my Hubby and trying to verbalize them. It is easy to get caught up in all the bad little things and then only the BIG things get praise maybe. Sometimes I think I am guilty of stacking so many of his faults in front of the good things that I completely lose sight of the good in him. Times when things happen where he doesn't pick up after his mess, when he doesn't clean up after dinner, when he doesn't help with the kids, when he falls asleep "too early", when he has a bad attitude or things just don't go the way I wanted them to. These are some of things that I stack in front of his good qualities. I become blind to the things that made me fall for him in the beginning. Things that I love about him. After 11 years I love him more than ever but 11 years has given me a long time to stack faults. I have enjoyed this week because I have been working on getting rid of those
This week I have been looking for the good little things about him. As I empty the boxes of fault I am working on filling them up instead with the things I love about him. When I notice these good things about my Hubby I am telling him.
I started by praying to see him as the Lord sees him and looking for what he does on the big scale: working sucky hours at a job that he doesn't particularly love but he does it because he loves his family and wants to provide for us. The fact that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he will have my back and never leave my side no matter how granola, blond, psycho, fat or forgetful I get. The fact that he sees past my stacks of faults.
When I started looking for the big good things I was able to see the little good things more clearly again. Like what an amazing BBQ grill master he is; plus he picks the best meat at the grocery store AND looks for a the best deal on it. How when he cleans he gets things squeaky clean. He's a great foot rubber. He (usually) picks good movies. He cracks me up! His mischievous sideways smile. He's so darn sexy. Don't even get me started on his bedroom skillz.
Not only has this been great for our marriage it has been good for our kids to hear. I am sure my kids pick up on the tone in my voice when I am frustrated with their dad. I'm sure I've said things that were less than kind about their father that they heard. We are role models to our children whether we are being good or bad role models. I want them to see the good in their dad. Love him with all their little hearts. I want my girls to grow into Godly women with good marriages; who are their husband's biggest cheerleader and are loved and cherished by him. I want my son to have a wife that encourages him and helps him to be the man God has planned for him to be. All of that starts with our marriage example.
I am reaping benefits of this challenge already. I was surprised by his reaction when I told him on Monday that I appreciated something he had done the day before. He stopped what he was doing, looked at me and said, "Thank you for noticing that. It means a lot to me that you told me you appreciate that." And you know what? He did it again the next day. And then the day after that too.
A little encouragement on my part has gone a long way in his heart. I like encouraging him. I found I like it a lot more than nagging at him. I want to be his cheerleader and he needs to be encouraged. He wants to be appreciated and he's willing to go the extra mile when all I have to do is say, "Thank you. I notice the good things you do. I appreciate you."
What do you say? Start unstacking your husband's faults. Be your husband's cheerleader. Join the challenge.